22 March 2020: Daily Humor + are you angry/scared/other?

Someone on Twitter today asked if folks were finding themselves more angry than scared. I am most definitely more angry than scared because Agent Orange received multiple intelligence reports in both January and February, “ominous, classified warnings” about the global threat of the coronavirus but chose instead to completely downplay the risks, ignore all opportunities to begin preparing, and tell his minions that the entire thing was a hoax perpetrated by Democrats. Meanwhile, two congressional Republicans sold off large amounts of stocks based on insider information about the economic impact of the virus ALL WHILE telling Americans that everything would be fine, and now the idiot in chief is claiming he knew all along that this would become a pandemic and hasn’t he responded in perfect, beautiful ways since the virus’s inception despite the fact that the medical workers on the frontlines are horrifically short of safety supplies like masks and crucial equipment like ventilators. Americans are going to die because a narcissistic imbecile wanted to keep his numbers low. Call me furious. I’d love to hear how you’re feeling.

Such a pity. Say few.

Such a pity. Say few.

With that, it is important to keep exercising, laughing, and doing what we can to stay healthy and help others.

Listen to Rita Wilson rap while in quarantine.

Listen to this little creature do Freddie! This is one of my favorite things EVER!

Screen Shot 2020-03-22 at 4.53.52 PM.png
thank you, Amanda!

thank you, Amanda!

Ol is 11; humor break

Friends, I would be lying if I said I’m up tonight. I’m not. I’m tired AF. That said, as moms will, I do believe I ensured Ol had a marvelous birthday today (thank you Tom’s parents for coming over midday to celebrate with us; thank you friends and family for your many calls and FaceTimes), and that is most important. He’s 11, he feels love and feted, and he’s healthy. Winning. Plus Star Wars, in terms of both cake and the release of The Rise of Skywalker.

A few quick comedic shares (as always, things in blue are links: click on them for fun n joy)":

Did these Alabamans find a leprechaun? People, the sketch artist’s sketch. And the guy who says “See a leprechaun, say yay!” Also, the crackhead theory.

Tina is a queen!

Tina is a queen!

legit

legit

“Snow” angels.

Stay strong, friends!

Covid-19, schools' out, Pi Day, Ol's birthday

Good gracious, y’all! 2020 has been a hell of a dumpster fire-gully washer so far.

Discover & share this Fire GIF with everyone you know. GIPHY is how you search, share, discover, and create GIFs.

Discover & share this Fire GIF with everyone you know. GIPHY is how you search, share, discover, and create GIFs.

Discover & share this Dumpster GIF with everyone you know. GIPHY is how you search, share, discover, and create GIFs.

You get my drift?! I mean, the orange stain has been impeached, more than 7,800 Americans have been killed or injured by a gun, Devin Nunes continues to file baseless lawsuits ad nauseam, and the world is being besieged by the coronavirus. The entire country of Italy, where my sister and her family live, is shut down, school systems and companies around the globe have closed for varying amounts of time (my boys’ school will reopen 4/13 at the earliest, and Tom is home for at least two weeks), but our ridiculous excuse for a leader continues to lie and endanger America’s public health.

South Korea has drive-through testing that accommodates 200,000 people a day, Turkey has hundreds of thousands more tests than we do, and folks landing in Haiti are tested immediately upon disembarking the plane. Meanwhile, Americans are left wondering what tests are and where and how do you get them if you’re not a Congressional Republican or Mar-a-Lago barnacle.

At least we’re having an early spring thanks to right-wingers around the world refusing to deal with climate change. Gadzooks! We are all housebound, there is no Kleenex to be found in stores* (seriously, I tried two different stores this afternoon as Oliver is sick and used 4 boxes of tissues before 4p today and struck out completely), and even the kids wonder if distance learning will work, but boy howdy, I wore shorts and worked in the yard for 5 hours today, so there’s that. #winning

Discover & share this Bam Yes GIF with everyone you know. GIPHY is how you search, share, discover, and create GIFs.

*In perhaps an odd sign of end times, there are also no turnips to be found. Two stores, no turnips. I mean, I love turnips, but I didn’t realize I had so much company. Is this shortage because St. Patty’s Day is Tuesday?

But life goes on, and so do we. Ol has a shitty virus but he is a darling lamb and will be ok (hopefully by the time he turns 11 on Tuesday), Jack is using this break as a grand opportunity to get new lawn care clients and earn money, and we are living as if it’s all a mighty vacation. Ice cream at 2p? Sure. A movie every night? You bet. A pie for Pi Day? Duh.

apple pi

apple pi

In the grand scheme of things, we remain infinitely fortunate. If you feel that way too, consider donating to or volunteering with local food banks (I’ve just given to DC’s Capital Area Food Bank and registered to join the Special Response Task Force of my county bank, Manna Food Center), to public school lunch programs as many kids rely heavily on the meals they eat at school, and to your own micro communities. My neighborhood listserv abounds with offers to help older or disabled neighbors by grocery shopping, picking up prescriptions, walking dogs, tending yards, and so forth.

And don’t forget to laugh. This video is hilarious.