Finally

I am going to tell you the truth, friends, our travel home could have been better. We received not one but TWO phone calls from USAir's automated service informing us that our flight had been delayed until 3:05. Therefore, we tried to make the best of it by finding a comfortable spot to sit where we could also corral the children. We checked the boards repeatedly but they were never updated. We checked online which consistently told us 3:05. At one point, out of sheer boredom and a desire to combat lethargy, Oliver and I took a walk to the purported gate only to find it didn't exist. Where was 23? So, we mozied on down to the end of the terminal to find our g-damn flight boarding. I raced up to the desk and asked the woman what was going on. She said, "we're boarding but don't worry, it just began." Since I hadn't brought my phone on what was supposed to be a stroll and thus couldn't call Tom to bring Jack and our stuff STAT, I picked Oliver up and ran pell-mell down the terminal. At that point, an announcement was made that the flight to DC was in its FINAL BOARDING and the doors were about to shut. WTF?! All four of us hauled it back down the terminal at which point, extremely frustrated (read: PO'd), we were told we had to check our hand-held bags. Terrific. I, admittedly in full rage at this point but trying to remain composed, said there had been just a bit of lacking communication in that the only announcement we heard was a final call, the boards had never been updated and their own automated service told us twice that we were departing at 3:05 (at this time, it was 2:30). The women at the gate were so rude and condescending that I almost went postal and pulled a can of whoop-ass out. Seriously, it was un-effing-real. When I finally sat down in my seat, I lost it and started crying. Fingers covered in mascara, I felt like a flipping mess and Jack consoling me made me feel even worse. The amount of turbulence was less than ideal, and some gal behind us laughed at everything that she said, none of which was funny. Shnikeys!

We landed. As soon as we left the airport, the gas light went on and the kids started saying they needed to pee despite the fact that we'd just, JUST, questioned them about any need to go and having been assured no, no. Then they started asking each other if they'd seen this or that movie and proceeded to have a 25 minute conversation about fictitious films and books that involved pigs, a bow tie and something else, and comparing and contrasting all of them. It was cute yet not. By the time we pulled up at our house, Tom and I were full-scale nuts. I made the kids dinner and hauled ass for the balm of the market because I don't care how flipping tired I am, I am making a hearty, nourishing, healthy, good, pretty, not take-out dinner. Plus wine.

And so, filet mignon, fresh corn and wax bean and bacon salad, and a humongous red wine are in our very near future, and I'm really excited about it.