Nutmeg returned home this afternoon with a "gift;" a dead bird. Oliver opened the back door and was like "WTF?!" in a child-appropriate way. "There is a dead bird here, Mom, and it's WHOLE." "Oliver, are you serious?" Obviously I thought he was pulling my chain.

He was not. There was a darling, seemingly woundless, dead little bird on my doormat, and my heart broke a little. The kids wailed, "PUNISH, NUT, Mom." Like I can punish a cat. So instead I tried to explain instinct and evolution.

"Boys, cats hunt. It's what they do. I mean, how would Nutmeg eat if we didn't feed him? He would go find food and kill it if need be."

"But WHY? We FEED Nutmeg."

"I know, honeys, but it's what he's evolved to do. It's like, when you were born, how did you know how to nurse? No one taught you, you just knew."

Oliver: "I don't know."

Jack: "Mom, duh, it's NOT like we put our mouths on your boob!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I'm thinking, "Well, actually, that's exactly how it works. How does he think it works?" And then I realized anew why it pays to stay silent sometimes because...

Jack continued: "I mean, Mom, you put on the machine with the straw and stick that into the baby's mouth."

I love the knowitall'ness of kids. I mean, this description of nursing is ludicrous, and yet it makes perfect sense to Jack. Enough so that he "DUHs" me repeatedly with his eyes and tone whilst relaying his knowitall'ness of nursing. Which is not even something he'll ever do. It was great.

I cleared things up lest Oliver's single take-away of this conversation be, "Mom once fed me with a straw attached to her boob." And I feel even more strongly than ever that kids be taught all about their bodies and babies and reproduction and so forth because otherwise they think babies nurse from boob straws (Jack) or that you can get pregnant by touching butts with someone else (I actually believed that to be true, many moons ago). ~~~ Tonight for dinner, I attempted my own version of the potatoes with piquillo sauce that I had last Saturday at The Black Sheep. I smoked a sweet red pepper and then cooked it down with a Spanish onion, some parboiled russet potatoes, garlic, olive oil, a bay leaf and some pimentón. Before serving I stirred in some crème fraîche and to go alongside made coffee-rubbed steak. Not bad, not bad at all.